Ready or Not?

Dear Papa,

Today, the 24th marks 6 months of you not being around. We all seem to have carried on with our lives, laughing and going out and having resumed some sort of normality BUT this is all just a façade papa. There is not a day that goes by that we don’t long to have you with us, not an incident that happens without us wanting to share with you. I resort to speaking to you in my heart, hoping the communication cables are strong on the other side.

I used to come home and share stories about the office, my day and gossip with you. Not anymore. On my drive back I used to call and ask you what you would like for dinner. Not anymore. I used to get irritated with you. I used to get amused by you. Not anymore. Not anymore.

What I miss most about you is your presence. You made our home whole.

I also miss the way we used to banter. I must say, though I would not admit this to you, your English was really remarkable and you wit was unmatchable. You always had a sarcastic line or a witty retort at the tip of your tongue. You always had a way with words. I remember how you would use a big word (albeit simple) like procrastinate, remarkable, etc and then quickly say : “Why am I using such sophisticated words on you? You wont even know the meaning” and snigger …….!!!

I miss the way you would engage all your nephews and nieces in such joyful conversations, always teasing them and lovingly talking to them.

I miss arranging all the medicine for you and marveling at the quantity and the colors that your tablets came in!

Amma is just plodding on!!! She misses you the most, if that’s possible. Having spent nearly 40 years with you, devoted to you, she is very lonely now. We try to occupy her but our efforts pale in comparison.

Mahilahn and Leha miss your story telling and how you used to drum your fingers on the head board to imitate horses – your stories always had animals in them eh!

Mahilahn still asks for you and it breaks our heart to answer him! He says that God is very naughty for keeping you there when he wants to play with you. Such innocence eh, Papa? I still make it a point to intermittently point at your picture and ask them “who is this” and without fail they will say “appu”!! I don’t want them to EVER forget you la Papa.

Ruhisha still talks so fondly about you and will never forget the last birthday wish that you wished her, when she was in Bali – “Happy Birthday, Rasathi” you had said. She misses ‘high five-ing’ with you. She misses watching you put your injection….. she just plain misses you!!!

Thank you for giving me such an incredible Saturday with you before you left us. I still relive the 24th of October in my mind ever so often. Thank you for giving me the strength to carry on with all the arrangements and only breakdown at the very last minute.

Thank you for giving me my signature. Thank you for scaring the boys! Thank you for my incredible wedding!

Thank you for loving me. Thank you for being so fantastic. Thank you for being my PAPA!

it is the most sweetest thing i have ever read. *crying* :')

okay peeps. dont worry. it is not all for today.

solongpeeps,

Sh5a